20 November 2009

Today I got beat again. He trapped me in the bathroom upstairs and slammed me against the wall and off the ground by my throat. He was squeezing my windpipe shut. I couldn't breath. I tried to breath and just squeeked. I could feel my toes touching the floor, but my heels couldn't. I couldnt see. All I could see were silver specks and bright light. I scratched the hell out of him. I'm going to end up dead. I need to leave. I need to take my girls and run. Run as far and as fast as I can. My neck hurts. It hurts to swallow. All of this b'c I caught him. A girl named Kristin Williams left him a voicemail saying how much she loves him and I confronted him about it. I guess thats how it goes... I catch him, and I get blamed for it. And then I get beaten. I can't even call the mp's. They won't do anything. His unit always lets him get away with everything. I'm stuck. I have nowhere to go. Why is my life like this? When is it going to be my turn? When is my turn going to be here to be loved? What is so wrong with me? Why can't anyone just love me? Am I just meant to be alone forever? God, why? Please answer that. Why? And why not? When? Where? Who? ...